Allen kicks off Series 3 of the Motivation Interview podcasts with former Meath Strength & Conditioning coach, Martin Doyle. Martin charts his career from leaving school early, gaining his qualifications late in life and the trials and tribulations associated with his career!
I always learn so much from speaking with FooDee, she makes so much sense. We can all make simple changes to our family’s diet, that doesn’t break the bank or their tastebuds! Listen out for my rant in the middle and we hope you enjoy our latest Interview. #cacoaching #family #nutrition
I'm delighted to have been joined by the master himself, Ronan McQuillan from The Enemies. Ronan tells us about how music was just always a part of his life and how a setback in music brought him in a brand new direction. Enjoy!
This was such a fun and interesting podcast to do! Allen & Gerry tackle some very common Christmas parenting issues. Enjoy!!
Today, Allen chats with Youthreach resource worker David Carry. David charts his journey working in multimedia, right through his career to supporting young people who have fallen out of the traditional education system and the importance of time with friends and family.
In the latest episode of Series 2, Allen get's to meet with Fiona Walsh who is a prosthetics and make artist for film and television, having worked on some of the most successful productions of the last 10 years including The Hobbit series, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Guardians of the Galaxy and Star Wars. Fiona delves into her journey and the ups and downs of working in the movie industry.
As Season 2 continues, Allen finally gets to interview Sandra Garry & Gary Griffin, two people who's dedication to volunteering and supporting youth development, is an inspiration.
In this episode, Allen & Gerry discuss a range of parenting topics including a 14 year old refusing to go to school and how to support your child auditioning for a TV talent show.
Welcome back to Series 2 of the Motivation Interview Podcast. In this episode, Allen talks to actor Darby Stanchfield about her life growing up in a small town to becoming successful in her career.
Welcome back to Series 2 of the Motivation Interview Podcast. To kick us off, Allen chats with filmmaker, web developer and owner of Infinitum Limited, Jason Leung about his journey away from civil engineering in Vancouver, traveling the world and ending up owning a company in Budapest.
In this episode Allen and Gerry cover a range of Parenting questions such as teens hanging around and getting into trouble, volunteering, building self esteem, being left home alone, teens distancing themselves and dealing with adult children.
In our latest episode, Allen had the pleasure of talking with Louise McPhillips about her desire to build a cob house and how the concessions she has had to make along the way haven't dented her resolve to succeed. Louise also talks about where her determination came from and how she fostered it.
In this week's Motivation Interview Series Podcast episode, Allen speaks with sports entrepreneur Elaine Keogh about her life, being a young mother, building numerous businesses and overcoming personal setbacks through focusing on her personal health and fitness. #MondayMotivation
In our latest episode, Allen meets former CEO / Animation and Film Director at Coalter Digital, David Coalter. David talks about his upbringing, getting into a major corporation moving away to set up on his own and ultimately learning about work/life balance which let him to return to his former employers.
In our latest episode, Allen meets President of LNR Property in Miami Beach, Adam Behlman. Adam discusses the impact of losing his father at a young age, how a chance meeting got his mojo back and how a major health diagnosis made him re-evaluate his priorities.
Allen of www.helpme2parent.ie answers your questions on a number of topics. In this podcast, Allen discusses whether or not you can be your child's best friend as well as their parent, how to deal with kids playing parents off against each other, introducing alcohol to teenagers, parents social media use, having "perfect children" and overweight kids! Oh and a cheeky mention for the 2017 Parenting Expo in September in Dublin. We hope you enjoy it.
Grandparents Looking After Grandkids.
It takes a village to rear a child is an old saying and today it is as valid as it ever was. More and more grandparents are taking on the role of child carers. With the high cost of mortgages and child care, it is often necessary for both parents to work, to cover living expenses. Or both parents may choose to focus on career.
From the child's perspective grandparents caring for them is a wonderful experience. All children need love, acceptance and validation in order to develop a strong sense of self and independence and being surrounded by people who love them unconditionally fosters these qualities in them.
However, issues can develop unless boundaries are made clear from the very beginning.
Grandparents need to remember that this is not their child and it is up to the parents to set out how they want their child cared for. Issues around discipline, food, sleep etc. should be clearly understood prior to the childcare starting. Parents also need to understand that their parent has successfully raised them, so they are not without parenting skills.
Children need structure and consistency in their lives, so it is important that all the people caring for them are working from the same perspective.
Differing opinions need to be discussed and negotiated. It is not appropriate for the Parents to lay down rules which the other finds difficult or impossible to implement. It is also unacceptable for the Grandparents to agree to the structures and then to disregard them and do their own thing. What happens here is that the child receives mixed messages which just confuses them and leaves them feeling unsafe and with divided loyalties.
How then can these differences be dealt with respectfully?
1: both parties need to admit that there may be a potential problem.
2: an appropriate time needs to be set aside to discuss the issues. Not when people are tired following a long day, much better to meet when both parties are free.
3: start with “I” messages, e.g. I am worried, I feel restricted, I am not sure what is expected etc.
4: then say what you would really like to do about the issue.
5: together think up ideas which are possible solutions to the issue and list them.
6: choose one idea, the one most likely to succeed.
7: plan the details.
8: carry it out
If 8 fails or is difficult to implement, go back to 6 again and choose a second option.
Allow each party space to speak without interruption, giving them your full attention.
If parents and grandparents put their love for the child first, they will find it easier to come to an agreement in the service of the child. In this way appropriate boundaries for the child will be put in place. The parents will feel secure that their child will be well cared for and the bond between the child and the grandparents will grow from the daily interaction.
In our latest episode, Allen meets marketing pioneer, Jon Buscall. Jon has travelled such a fascinating path through dealing with mental health issues, being a published writer, lecturing and now running his successful business. Jon's openness and honesty in this interview are truly engaging and inspiring and highlight the need for us all to find our own balance as we strive for contentment.
In this interview Allen meets technology specialist, Lisa Fannin to discuss how she has built her career and attempts to balance work/home life as a successful product developer and being a mum and wife. Lisa talks about working from her core values and trusting her instincts and how, as she has grown, this has changed and got her to a point where the balance is getting that bit easier.
Lots of people assume that video coaching won’t be as effective as one to one coaching. Over the past few years our video coaching clients have increased. We have worked with clients from United Kingdom, USA, Canada and Australia and that’s just in the last six months!!! Here are a number of reasons why it is becoming more popular:
Here’s what our video clients have to say about it.
Personal coaching can be about becoming the best version of yourself, and about living a life of gusto, purpose, and impact. My coaching experience with Allen has not only helped me work towards those things, but it has enabled me to discover what makes me tick, what stands in my way, and which priorities and goals are truly important to me. Allen has the gift of being able to find “hidden” tools that allow clients to realize their goals. My sessions with Allen are always productive and insightful. If you had asked me a year ago if having Skype coaching sessions would be as rewarding or helpful as they have been, I might have been skeptical. Thankfully, Allen is adept at helping me focus on what is really important, and what next steps I need to take. He has fantastic, creative ideas that I’ve found eye-opening, simple and practical. As someone who generally feels reasonably competent, it’s amazing how Allen can help me cut through the diversions to discover what, in retrospect, is the obvious path. That is a unique and skillful gift that he readily shares with others. Whether it’s a challenge that I wasn’t able to work through or a new endeavor that will affect my growth, I can look forward to having Allen’s insights and guidance to help me along that path. What started for me as a focus on “getting good parenting advice” has become much broader and more beneficial. I highly recommend Allen as a positive, knowledgeable and effective coach.
-K. Hanson
I first contacted Allen to help me with navigating a new career in a field that can be frustrating and demoralizing. I felt like he had the unique qualifications I needed to help me succeed and flourish in this business. With his help, I have gained an immeasurable amount of confidence and he has given me a lot of tools that I can use when I get stuck with whatever situation may arise. He has been an unending source of support and encouragement and he challenges me to look at situations from angles that I may not have seen. He has helped me in both my professional and personal life. He is a great listener and he provides a thoughtful and insightful approach to every issue. I highly recommend him to anyone who is interested in becoming an improved version of themselves!
-A. Rainey
I came to Allen for help with time management. I was hoping for some straight forward tips and some powerful motivation. I was not ready to face the fact that I was putting up my own hurdles and I was definitely not comfortable exploring why. But, Allen was just so genuine and caring that I couldn’t help but let my guard down with him. Once I did that his warmth and insight made it possible for me to gradually drop my guard altogether, a prospect that would have seemed terrifying only months earlier but has turned out to be more rewarding than I could have imagined. I’m still working on it but, Allen has given me the tools and encouragement to make changes I thought were impossible, not only in how I manage my time but in how I approach life. I am forever grateful.
-D. Ramsay
Not every family is 2 adults and 2.4 children. Whether you are a single parent by choice or whether you have lost your partner, the issue of parents forming new relationships can be hard for kids and can manifest itself in many different ways.
So what can parents do to help their children deal with either parent introducing a new partner?
In Episode 1 of our Motivation Interview Series, Allen meets professional rugby player and creator of the world's leading social audio app Limor, Shane Monaghan. Shane talks about how, as a teenager, he set out a timeline of milestones to measure his progress to achieving his goal of becoming a professional in the sport he loved. Shane also delves into how the setbacks throughout his career impacted on his self motivation and desire to succeed which has resulted in him creating Limor app and becoming a pioneer in the social audio world.
What is resilience and why is important to our children?
• Resilience is the ability people have to recover from setbacks quickly and in children it is extremely important. Most parents I deal with, if they were able to pick a trait they would love their children to have, it is the ability to deal with things when they go wrong or don’t go as well as expected, and can adapt to any situation that they find themselves up against. Ultimately this is resilience.
• The people who are successful in any walk of life are the people who, even when they are knocked down, believe in their own ability to achieve and can pick themselves up and “get back on the horse”. Resilience is just as important as natural ability.
How can we build resilience in our children?
• First things first, we are all individual and we all learn skills in slightly different ways. The list below is a toolbox of techniques that could work for your children.
• Your child has some resilience skills already! That’s right, your child begins building their ability to cope with pressures from day one. Also remember, your child will hone their resilience skills, not only through interactions with you, but through friends, relatives, teachers, coaches and peers. This can be quite a reassurance for parents.
• Doing everything for your children will slow the development of their resilience. We all learn from doing things for ourselves, but if we block our children from learning how to complete tasks and be successful at it, this can stunt their progress. Obviously it will be important to be there for them if they need a little help but don’t take over.
• Little victories are extremely important. Your child will achieve things and while you don’t need to go overboard in the praise of these, it will be important to help them to recognise HOW they achieved these victories.
• Get them involved in helping others. Volunteering is the bedrock of many communities and provide volunteers with a serious sense of self-worth and belonging, two very important aspects of resilience.
• Trusting your children will help them trust themselves. Allowing your kids that bit of leeway to try new things and build their confidence is really important. It can be as simple as letting them walk to the shop or school on their own. If issues do arise, again, instead of giving the solutions, get them to explore the potential solutions with you.
• Sometimes straight after something has happened or not gone as well as your child had hoped, give them a little bit of time to process it in their own heads before delving into solutions.
• Be enthusiastic but realistic. “You were the best player on the pitch sweetheart!” when they have been substituted after 20 minutes is not much use to your child. All it will do is make them believe you less. If all the evidence tells your child that they have had a bad game or things haven’t gone there way, you can start with an open-ended question like, “how are you feeling after that game?” This allows your child the space to talk about their feelings, if they wish.
• Remember that your child’s feelings are real for them, so if they are frustrated or upset about how an event has gone, explore with them, what they could do differently if they are in a similar situation again. If they struggle with this, give them a number of different options and let them pick the one that works for them. You can then go on to talk about what they need to do to put this option into action.
• Teach your children relaxation & mindfulness techniques. We can all do with learning skills to calm ourselves down and keep things in perspective. There are lots of simple relaxation tools online, get them and learn them with your child.
Allen of CA Coaching answers your questions on a number of topics. In this podcast, Allen discusses about how best to talk to your child about stranger danger. Being realistic, how to keep safe and also what to do if an incident does occur. He also provides tips to deal with a difficult ex partner. You can't control what they do, so all you can do is control what you can do. Using these tips can help reduce the stress and keep your relationship with your child positive.
For some parents, using the internet can be as scary as walking a tightrope across the Grand Canyon on a windy day. Some people get a complete mental block about using sites and either feel like they need to do a course or find someone to help them navigate sites…just incase they cause the computer to explode! It is very much based around a fear of the unknown. Many people didn’t get a chance to grips with the internet as it was evolving and have now almost resigned themselves to the fact that they just don’t know how to use it and that’s that.
Children and young people, on the other hand, embrace the internet like it’s their best friend! There is absolutely no fear factor and they feel so confident that they will accept any new popular sites and learn as they go. They delve into nearly all nooks and crannies of sites they enjoy (many of these being social media outlets), until they figure out how it works and then off they go into cyberspace to discover the world.
Both of these attitudes have created a sense of growing distance between some parents and children resulting in parents relying on media outlets to inform them of the “dangerous” sites that can cause their children harm, while at the same time, almost providing a road map for young people to explore a new site they shouldn’t. Well here’s the good news parents, it doesn’t have to be like this and there are a number of really helpful sites out there that can help you learn and understand all about the sites your children use every day (see the list below!).
How we access the internet is constantly changing and, as parents, it’s important to be aware of how your children are using the internet on a daily basis. We’ve progressed from a big bulking computer and monitor in the corner of the kitchen to having the ability to access the internet via tablets and phones and using glasses is just around the corner…who knows where this will lead us next!
With all this in mind, online bullying has become a real and tangible issue for both young and old alike. Whereas, years ago bullying was generally confined to outside the child’s door, with the ever expanding use of technology, we have unintentionally opened our front door and invited bullying into the home. As parents we can’t completely prevent our children from going online, and it’s important to not scaremonger your children about the internet but it is important to discuss with them how they can keep themselves safe while online, just as you would teach them about road safety or stranger danger.
So what can parents do. We have created a short information sheet for both parents and teens to keep safe online which can be downloaded below.
Tips for Kids
Tips for Parents
Download our Online Safety – Tips for Parents
Useful sites for parents:
So don’t be scared of the internet, that expensive tablet you bought isn’t going to blow up in your hands if you access a Manchester United supports site (well maybe it will!), and like we consistently say, communication with your child is the key.
If you have any concerns about your child’s internet use, or wish to book some internet safety coaching sessions, feel free to contact me at allen@cacoaching.ie.