Parenting Toddlers is a challenge at any age. Your toddler is learning to assert themselves and will push the boundaries (and probably test your patience) as part of exploring themselves. Here are a couple of our top tips for parenting toddlers:
Routine: do not under-estimate the importance of routine. From eating meals at the kitchen table, to play-time, nap-time and bathtime and bedtime, routine gives your toddler a sense of structure and security. Though it won’t always prevent troublesome behaviour, it will help to minimise it because toddlers love to know what’s coming next. If your household finds routine difficult, because you are working shifts or have other responsibilities, try to establish a routine where possible especially around meals and bedtime and get everyone who is part of caring for your toddler (be it grandparents, child-minders, older siblings) involved in maintaining that routine.
Understand their Attention Span: Remember their attention span is very short. A toddler has an attention span of 20 minutes at best. It can be frustrating for parents that you are in the middle of doing something and they lose interest and start acting up. If you remember this fact, it will help you to control your frustration – they are not being disruptive just to frustrate you – it’s just the stage of life that they are at. It is also very important to recognise when they DO actually wait for you to finish what you are doing. They will learn that when they do as you ask, they will get postive recognition from you. This is worth so much more than a chocolate bar!
Age Appropriate Responsibilities: many parents feel like they cannot or should not engage their toddlers in tasks around the house. But now is the time to get them started in age appropriate tasks. Make the tasks fun, do them together, use them as a chance to work with your child so they are close to you. Simple things like putting their teddies back in the cot in the morning, bringing their cereal bowl over to the sink, putting their jigsaw or lego back in the box when they are finished playing or stirring the mixture when baking can help them to build small tasks and responsibilities into everyday life.
Bedtime: This is where routine is particularly important. Toddlers should recognise a bedtime routine. A bedtime routine is all about giving them a familiar pattern of behaviour and a soothing lead in to sleep time. Toddlers need 12 hours sleep a night. But bedtime is also incredibly important for you as the parent. Getting a good bedtime routine will give you a couple of hours for yourself. You need time for yourself and so you need to invest time in getting your child’s bedtime routine right so that you also get some time to rest
Whatever your routine, it should gradually wind down to sleep. Having a bath, putting on PJs, using the toilet, brushing little teeth, having a bottle followed by a bedtime story or a song before you gently leave the room is a very soothing routine for your toddler. Maintaining a routine can be difficult if you have older children but it is important to explain to them why the youngest child needs this routine to make sure they go to sleep early. They may even be happy to get involved.
Remember from teatime onwards your goal is to reduce the amount of stimulation your child has. Turn off the TV, DVD or electronic games. Put away bright noisy toys that will stimulate your child. Once teatime comes, everything should be quieter and more peaceful.
I’m not going to be popular when I say this but there should be no TV/DVD players in children’s bedrooms. Bedrooms are for sleep time and there a continuous stream of cartoons and children’s programmes will not help your child to wind down and get restful sleep.
Toddlers will go through phases of not wanting to go to bed and they may fight you all the way. But they are doing this because they want your attention. It might be negative attention but it is still attention. If they keep climbing out of bed, follow the basic principles: put them back into bed and explain to them that it is time to go to sleep. If it keeps happening, lift them back into bed but do not engage in conversation. Keep them safe, soothe them into bed but do not stimulate discussion. It can be exhausting if it keeps happening but stick at it. If you are getting frustrated, don’t allow your emotions to rise. Ask your partner or another family member to take over from you to give you a couple of minutes to compose yourself. Be consistent – after a couple of nights of sticking to this pattern, your child will recognise the pattern and will accept it.
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